Humor

Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are softly chirping in the crisp cool mountain air.

Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place.

You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear. The brook gurgles and the air is cool...

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.

Look. It's the person who caused you all this stress in the first place.

What a pleasant surprise. You let them up...

How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb?

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die.

Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.

10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died…”

9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!

1. Never say you can’t because you’ll do it anyway.

2. Never say “It’s easy” because we’ll just make it hard.

3. Never say “I want to go home” because you’ll just stay longer.

4. Never lose count because you’ll start at one again.

5. Never complain because we never listen!

6. Never argue because you’ll never win.

7. Never scream or cry because it only encourages us.

8. Never look like you’re enjoying it because we’ll put a stop to it.

9. Never hold you’re breath because if you pass out and die, we have to fill out the paperwork.

10. Never lie or cheat because we know

After having dug 100m, British scientists found signs of copper wiring dated 2000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network.

The following week, the French—so as not to stay behind—dug 200m and the headline in the French newspaper was: After having dug 200m, French scientists found signs of optical fibers dated 3000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a very high-tech telephone network.

One week later, the Lebanese press reported that: After having dug 100m, Lebanese scientists found nothing and concluded that 5000

Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are softly chirping in the crisp cool mountain air.

Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place.

You are in total seclusion from that place called "the world."

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear. The brook gurgles and the air is cool...

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.

Look. It's the person who caused you all this stress in the first place.

What a pleasant surprise. You let them up...

If an Insect Falls in a Cup of Coffee…

1. The Englishman: Throws the cup away and walks out of the café
2. The American: Takes the insect out and drinks the coffee
3. The Chinese: Eats the insect and throws the coffee away
4. The Besieged Palestinian: Drinks the coffee and eats the insect
5.

December 8

6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our tea and sat for hours by the window, watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9

We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!